


The Emerald Pensive

by MarjorieAlyss



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Child Neglect, Cutting, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Post War, Second Kiss, Slytherin, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 14:10:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3123071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarjorieAlyss/pseuds/MarjorieAlyss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The second generation is sorted and everyone is in for a shock when quiet little Albus Potter gets sorted into Slytherin. Things after the war aren't as Harry's generation delude themselves into thinking they are and Albus has become the voice of his house, but will anyone hear before it's too late? This is a VERY AU story. Neglect, abuse, bullying, cutting, and suicide may follow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sorted

Albus Severus Potter fidgets as he slowly makes his way to the stool. He knew his parents wouldn't mind if he wasn't in sorted into Gryffindor and James would be his brother regardless but still…

…Even with his Father's words he could tell getting into the house of emerald snakes was social suicide and he had yet to be here an hour. Glancing over at the table once proudly apart of the four house system in Hogwarts shows only a handful of upper-years and one first-year, Scorpius Molfoy, sitting there when his parents' stories claimed it to be just as full as the other overly packed houses.

The hat drops on his head, blocking out the expectant eyes that fill the hall, and a voice fills his mind making him startle slightly. Another Potter Hmm… I should probably ask you before I waste my time and more importantly it seems now a days yours, do you have to be in Gryffindor or may I actually do my job? It asks in an unhappy exasperated voice. Not really knowing why a hat that was made to sort them was asking him if he wanted to sort himself told the hat to go ahead. It hums happily and goes silent for a moment before, You have the same thirst to prove yourself that your father did. More importantly you're far stronger, Not magically oh no, not magically …. Though the potential… Well Mr. Potter I believe you will find all that you truly need in…

"SLYTHERIN!"

For one Albus Severus Potter life as he had known it died in that moment. To all who knew him he died at that moment. Hung by the same emerald tie that had killed all who entered Slytherin house since the final battle against Voldemort had been won.

Not that anyone would truly come out and say that. No, It was much better to pretend. After all…

… It doesn't have to be fixed if no one speaks up about it being broken…

October 3rd, 2017

I decided to keep a journal about my time at Hogwarts. Especially since it seems no letters will be left behind to show I ever existed. It's been a month since I was sorted into Slytherin and my parents haven't even sent me a reply to my letter let alone a care package like my brother and cousins received today. I am the only one without enough mail to burry myself in. James says it's because our family doesn't have room for evil snakes.

Speaking of "Evil Snakes", Scorpius and I are the only two in our year. With us there are a total of twelve student Slytherins in Hogwarts. Scorp and I are the first years, second is Fae Davis and Rorek Moon, Moly Longbottom is our third year much to her father Deputy Headmaster Neville Longbottom's embarrassment, Elizabetha Lestrange is the fourth year Junior Dark Lord, Briar Nott is the fifth year connected at the hip to the library (If he wasn't Slytherin the Librarian Madam Pince would be his happy best friend. We have no clue why he is in Slytherin wather then Ravenclaw, maybe the hat is getting old and senile?),Parsley Parkinson is the Slytherin house's sixth year ice princess, and the Greengrass twins Julian and Abigail are our seventh years. Professor Blaize Zambini is our head of house and teaches potions. There is a frame for my second namesake Severus Snape in his office, though I have yet to see him in it since his main frame is in Headmistress McGonagall's office.

On a slight tangent I have taken up being called by the name Aspus Slytherin by the rest of my house. Apparently Aspus sounds like Albus and no Potter would be caught dead sorted into the house of emerald. I don't mind, I like the name better than my actual one since I am the only one who has been called that. No dead guys can lay claim to having it before me. And obviously my family no longer wants me.

However, as much as James and the other kids jinx and hex me, as many letters and care packages my parents pretend to forget to send to me, as biased as the teachers are against me, I have a family who loves me. It consists of one father, four older brothers, and five older sisters.

I am a member of the Slytherin family…

….If only my heart could agree with my mind.

Albus Severus Potter

Aspus Slytherin

First year of Hogwarts


	2. chapter 2

Hey Dad,

You know how you said that the greatest man you knew was a Slytherin? Well, I'm a Slytherin now too. Please don't be mad. The only other person in my year is the Malfoy's son Scorpious. There are ten others in our house; I thought you said it was OK to be in Slytherin: Seems to me as if the unity of Hogwarts is between three houses not four.

Love you forever,

Albus Severus Potter

Harry Potter stares at the letter on his desk that he did not remember getting, having been away on business when the Owl had come.

Albus had gone a month without his reply. He shouldn't be surprised though, Albus wasn't really Gryffindor material. He was definitely either a Ravenclaw or a Hufflepuff and the other kid's letters had constantly complained about him.

Harry just hoped Ron wasn't such an idiot as to not send his youngest son a care package since it was his turn to do so. Without a letter and being skipped over with the packages…

…He wished he didn't know how his son would be feeling; though the Dursley's had taught him that feeling very well.

A black owl comes in through the window carrying another letter from James and Albus' letter gets set aside yet again.

And there it lies for weeks, months, years collecting dust steadily.

Unanswered, forgotten, and pushed aside for more important things….

…. Just like the writer himself always has been…

_ Next Scene_

James Sirius Potter sits fidgeting slightly in the Headmistress' office; his cousin Teddy Lupin in the seat next to him along with three other Gryffindors. Professor Zabini comes in after Headmistress McGonagall and he can't shake the feeling he is going to be expelled for his last game of Snake Hunting. While Professor Zabini's face is its ever present neutral mask the Headmistress is definitely annoyed at them.

"What do you think you were doing?"

The king snake hisses and James feels terror settle up his spine. Looking at the Headmistress does nothing to soothe his fears. This was all Albus' fault. If the little snake hadn't gone slithering off to his head of house about this he wouldn't be in trouble. To think the brat was his brother and he had once thought him cute.

'Still,' James' brain betrays him, 'It isn't Albus' fault Professor Zabini knew.' James himself had sent the cutting curse onto the Malfoy brat knowing the damage that spell can do. Professor Zabini would have been told anyway since one of his Snakes was in the hospital wing.

But without Albus they wouldn't be able to peg his friends and him as the castors so it was Albus' fault if he got expelled.

James plays it safe. Says the things the adults want him to say, pretends to feel the emotions the adults want him to feel, speaks the promises the adults want him to speak…

… And doesn't mean a single bit of it at all…

But McGonagall is appeased and Zabini can't expel him so everything is OK for the moment. After all…

… It was only a childish prank….

_Break_

November 21st, 2017

Sorry I haven't been writing in a while and my hand writing is atrocious. The charms Professor Creevey must really hate me. Since I'm both a Potter and a Slytherin I get an anger directed at me worse than most. He blames Dad for his brother's death and Slytherins because we apparently started the war. The others do nothing about it because they either agree with him and cheer him on or don't but are Slytherins themselves and/or are too afraid to do something about it. Not that they could if they weren't.

That is what I have learned this past week.

He was screaming at Scor and pulled his wand so I shoved myself in front of him and took the hex myself. He was furious and for the past week I have had detention with him after dinner every day.

Even Hogwarts itself must be biased against Slytherin house. Angry with us that McGonagall didn't allow us to protect it. None of the adults will believe me since there are wards on Hogwarts that alert the Headmistress when an unforgiveable is cast but they haven't gone off for two hours every day this past week…

… They haven't gone off when ANY of us Slytherins are given detention.

I have yet to get anything from my family. I thought, I thought if I was different, if I could stand out even in the shadows cast over my by being the son of the savior and the Harpe's seeker, James' younger brother, and the middle child of the entire Weasley-Lupin-Potter clan, maybe I could be worth something to them At one point I would have done anything to make them proud of me…

… Could I EVER be good enough for that to happen? I'm starting to question if I can.

Albus Severus Potter

Aspus Slytherin

First year at Hogwarts


	3. Why?

PoV: Teddy Lupin

I sit on my bed watching James throw things into his trunk half hazardly. Already packed I wish for a book but know I can't leave James alone long enough to get one. Why does he have to bully Albus so much? What fun does he get out of cursing his own brother? How does someone change from the loving, overprotective, slightly overbearing older brother James had been to Albus before this year's sorting to the monster he is now?

Not that James had ever truly been there for Albus, no one ever had really. He didn't need it. Quiet, meek, always there but never noticed, head buried in a book more often than the twins', Rosie's and my own put together, Albus Severus Potter. With attention- demanding siblings like James and Lily he was always sort of lost in our overly huge family. As the oldest of the children I may not know my parents but I do know love…

…Does Albus know even that? Can he truly look someone in the eyes and say the same (minus the oldest child and unknown parent parts of course)? Or is love to him just something that exists only in those books he is always reading?

The self-updating list of those staying at Hogwarts for Christmas this year is posted on our door by a house elf as it is every time there is a break where children have chosen to stay at the school. My eyes narrow in on the perfect penmanship amidst the scrawled names already accumulated on the list.

Albus Severus Potter

I stop myself right before I point it out to James. Not wanting to know his reaction to the news. When will he notice his younger brother isn't going home for the holidays? The immediate answer should be within a day. No, he should have already talked to Albus about it before the name was signed on the list. But for some reason I am unsure about the answer. A day, a week, on the train, in the car, at home, when opening his presents, coming back to Hogwarts, at the welcome back feast, EVER?

A pair of boxers is thrown at my face and I snatch them from the air glaring at James. "You OK Teddy?" He asks and I nod, throwing his underwear back at him. Pulled into a conversation again I forget about Albus Severus Potter and if his absence will be noticed over the holidays. After all…

… He is simply so easy to forget about…

\- Line -

PoV: Harry Potter

I watch as Ginny and Lily run up to James, Teddy, and the others and hug them each breathless. Looking around for Albus turns up fruitless and I start to think something has happened to him but Rosie is giving me a hug and proudly showing off her Ravenclaw robes though Ron's face clearly shows disappointment which Hermione is ignoring at the moment. The look in her eyes though tells a different story for when the children aren't around. Ron is satisfied when James "discretely" reminds him that at least she wasn't in Slytherin like Albus and I go to defend my youngest son but we are all together now sans Albus and being herded into the cars outside. Under the tree that year there is one Slytherin green and silver wrapped gift amongst the many Gryffindor red and gold, Ravenclaw blue and bronze, and Hufflepuff yellow and black…..

….It takes me until the kids are all back on the train to realize who it was even for…

-Line-

PoV: Abigail Greengrass

I watch as yet again Aspus has his head in a book. It was OK for his grades, Nott and him battle for top student in Hogwarts and can connect to each other better than I can with Julian sometimes and he is my twin; my other half.

From the glance even Longbottom could tell he was neglected. No surprise came from us when a Potter was put into Slytherin at this year's sorting. Our house has become the dumping ground for those few to broken to pretend to be "normal" anymore. The ones who have lived to long on the sidelines to feel anything for other people anymore. The hat mistaking the fact we live to survive another day for strength and ambition, our tactics we use to do so wrongly labeled as cunning.

Going up to Aspus I see the back of his right hand has words etched into it and wince. Coming from a world where he was almost always forgotten and going into one where everyone is looking to hurt him has brought out his Gryffindor blood so to speak. Grabbing a potion from the always well stocked closet supply I return and grab his hand, gently inspecting it as he looks down at the book abandoned in his lap ashamed but knowing not to pull away from me.

"Blood quills are illegal, you should report this." I say though I know he won't. None of us ever do anymore. Sighing as I kneel down in front of him and hold his chin, allowing him to hide his hand though he knows I'll demand it back from him soon.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of Snakelet. It's Professor Redd who should be ashamed of using such methods." The dull nearly hopeless look in his eyes both tell me he isn't convinced and breaks my already shattered soul further. I know it sounds heartless of me but I'm happy I'm a 7th year. If I have to see another child break under all of this hate I will hang by my tie from the ceiling.

Forcing a smile we both know is fake I remove the glove I keep on my left hand to hide the proof to a truth no outsider would believe happens in Hogwarts now a days and all insiders turn a blind eye to. He gasps, some life returning to those beautiful emerald eyes of his telling me I made the right decision as usual when it comes to dealing with the younger children in the Slytherin family. Left reaches out for right and our hands bare to the world the lies sketched into us by others.

On the left:

I will respect my elders.

On the right:

I will remember my place.

But…

… Is it false when the whole world believes it to true?

…. Are facts fact because they are right or because no one is willing to disprove them?

… Do we deserve to die because that is what everyone here says so….

… Or have we simply never been given the chance to live?

All of us could do so much for the world if only it would let us. And looking at the boy in front of me I don't see the next Dark Lord or an evil unhuman being without the right to live…

… I see a broken eleven year old boy with a voice that can make angels cry and a purpose that has yet to be fulfilled.

Why God? Why can't the world see what I see? Why can't we be loved?


	4. Noticed

September 1st, 2018

We have no new children this year in Slytherin. Being around my family for the summer was unbarrable. Whenever Mum saw me she hounded me for eveything: aparently never writting home even though I wrote them a letter every week, my grades though some times I wonder if she is blaming me for James bad grades and thinks I cheated to get second in the whole school, my anti-social tendencies, and finally the reason she even noticed I was around...

... not coming home for Christmas.

I burned the present from James that made it impossible to ignore, couldn't have been anything good anyway since it was from my brother the King-of-Gryffindor himself.

Scor says they're trying to be good parents and include me in the family even though I no longer belong. Don't see why they have to do that, even when I did "Belong" they ignored me in favor of the other kids. It might have been better if they had continued ignoring me. I could tell from the looks on their faces when I knocked on the door after taking the night bus home from the station it was going to be hell. They pitied me for being in Slytherin...

...more like themselves for being related to a snake. If Uncle Ron comments on it one more time I'll crusio him like Proffessor Creevey does to us during detention.

Coming back after all of that and dealing with Grandma Molly insisting I wear my Christmas sweater to the platform like the rest of us, I wanted to die of embarrasment but settle for sneaking into Scor's strong arms tonight and sleeping cuddled up in that buble of love and belonging I feel when I'm with him. People say that I don't know my place, and maybe I don't, but I know that where ever it is it resides next to his. And when I saw I saw him in the compartment saved for us returning Slytherins and was pulled nearly onto his lap I knew...

... It didn't matter I haven't recieved a sweater from Grandma Molly since I was seven years old. Maybe I'll burn the old ratty thing to prove my point. Yeah, I'll do that...

... When I'm strong enough to admit I have long ago lost the conditional love of my family.

Mum made me swear last night that I would write them every week. We'll see how long it takes for them to forget about me again. I never got a goodbye from my family today so I think they already have...Oh, and I'm the only dissapointment of the family it seems. Lilly Luna Potter got into Gryffenfor today.

Lets see Mum and Dad forget about being proud of HER.

Scor is glaring at me to turn out the light so goodbye for now.

Albus Severus

Aspius Slytherin

2nd year Hogwarts

Albus closes the emerald colored journal with a silver snake pictured slythering around the book as a lock. Not really thinking much about the fact that his password is "Open" in Parceltounge, if he even notices he has the gift. Stowing it under his matress where a worn out five year old sweater is also hidden. Folded carefully so that the large golden A on the front shows.

Climbing into bed and snuggling into the grumpy looking, taller, 12-year-old, Scorpius he falls asleep after spelling off the lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So I haven't updated this in a while and decided that something was better than nothing... what do you think about it so far? Am I overdoing it with the neglect and other stuff or is it about right? Anyway, comments and suggestions are always welcome. Until next time!
> 
> Bye!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This story, as said in the summery, is VERY AU. I don't actually think Harry and Co would put ANY of their children through what has/is going to happen in this story. It was simply something I ended up writing while trying to figure out a way over my writer's block for my story Wrong Again. I don't know if I should officially start the story beginning of first year and go all the way through, start first year but only write the small changes, or start later in the series like fourth or fifth year when everything actually starts to become pieced together and it isn't an almost word for word from the book fic. If you have any comments, suggestions, or questions I'll be happy to hear them and yes I will be continuing both stories… when I figure this out… Bye for now!


End file.
